I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
