I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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