i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
