i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
