I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
