This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
