He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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