marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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