Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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