His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
