biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is Oprah even human
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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