Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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