she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
