He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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