We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
