Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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