Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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