They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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