So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
