I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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