Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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