When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
vagina is talking i cant
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
