with your own penis?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
