Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Please, let me fuck your mom
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Randomize
