some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
