So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
