After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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