That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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