Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
