anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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