i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
