What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My balls are so social today.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
