Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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