somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
