Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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