Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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