Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
