She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
