I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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