Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
