this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
