all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
