I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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