My brain says no but my pants say off.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
