went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
