So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
