I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
