Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
