He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
