No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
wow bdsm is so cute
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