tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
