so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
