you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
